Sunday, 8 July 2007

My Dour Highlights

A bunch of my friends are going to the Dour Festival so I made them a list of good stuff.

Jam's Dour Highlights to print out, laminate and keep.

The below are my picks of the lineup. The things with one star are highly reccomended. Three star things you just have to trust me and go see. Even for like 10 minutes. Or you could just ignore this list, use it as toilet paper, get pissed, take a bunch of jills and dance to Andy C. That sounds like pretty good fun to me...

-1990s (Jerky Indie from Scotland, ex-Yummy Fur. Some of it sounds a bit like Roxy)

-A Hawk And A Hacksaw (This guy used to play the drums in Neutral Milk Hotel, now he is a one man band who covers the Israeli national anthem on his accordian. Totally nuts. I had the honor of supporting in him in one of my few appearances with 'Nottingham's most shambolic band' aka Jones Of Colorado)

-Adult (Glacial Detroit electro)

-Amon Tobin (Ninjatune guy.)

-An Albatross (Amazing Screamo with the added bonus of having a frontman who thinks he's Mick Jagger instead of your average annoerexic, aggraphobic self harming screamo frontguy who got molested by his dad with a cactus every night. Or something. I dunno, they are all pretty fu3ked up those Midwest screamo guys.)

-Anthony B (He smokes weed everyday)

***Autechre (Simply. The. Best)

-Bright Eyes (meh, I guess)

-Brujeria (Mexican Death Metal guys who went on to be in Fear Factory. They have now reformed, amazing. Jarv, one for you mate)

-Busy P (Ed Banger label boss so that will be straight up French Electro. He looks like a cross between a wolf and that cartoon guy Droopy)

-Clap Your Hands Say Yeah (I guess...)

*Converge (INCREDIBLE hc. Josh go to this. Seriously minbending, genre-breaking music. People that write about how the Blood Brothers "break the mold" just haven't heard of Converge. If they had they'd wet themselves and go back to listening to The Pigeon Detectives. What kind of a name is that for a band anyway? The Pigeon Detectives?)

-Digitalism (French Electro that isn't actually from France)

-DJ Mehdi (French Electro that is actually from France)

*Dr Octagon (aka Kool Keith, miss him at your peril, he was once convinced that he had 'cereal power' and could produce bowls of cereal on demand. No lie. He is nuts)

*Erase Errata (Angular Lesbian punk funk who have been realeasing angular Lesbian punk funk on Kill Rock Stars since Moving Units were in diapers.)

-Errol Alkan (You might know this guy. He plays records. According to Snaar he likes having candles stuck up his bum during sex)

*Guitar Wolf (Jap free guitar pioneers. Insanely good. Like Lynard Skynard in some far off Manga future)

-Hot Chip (They went to school in Putney and it is thanks to them that Skream is on this bill)

-Jah Shaka (The great Dub Pioneer of London who won 6 consecutive Notting Hill Carnival soundclashes in the mid 80's and heads the only soundsytem that legendry engineer Sir 'Coxsone' Dodds reckoned could truly challenge the classic Jamaican soundystems)

*Joe Lally (He played Bass in Fugazi, this is reason enough)

-Justice (“We are……French and everywhere as of yesterday”)

*Kid 606 (He will blow you away. But he is gay so might also want to blow you off. Breakcore/gabbacore schizo nutbag and propreitor of Tigerbeat6 who put out things like Knifehandchop and Drop The Lime. He once made a 2" CD. This is too small to actually be played on 99% of CD players as it just falls through the tray.)

*Luke Vibert (King of acid soaked techno, amazing)

*Merzbow (This guy is like the Dyaln of Noise)

***Michael Gira (He was the main guy in Swans, you HAVE to go see him. He is one of those 'important'/'cannonical' things like the Associates or Beefheart's Trout Mask Replica record that 'music buffs' like that pr1ck John Harris always name drop but never actually listen to. Gira is amazing, he will most likely just be playing solo with acoustic guitar. Whatever he does will be funny, brutal, honest, abrasive and perfect.)

-Midlake (Ok Americana)

*OM (The two guys from Sleep who aren't Josh Pike. Josh Pike went on to do High On Fire who Greenwood knows all about, OM is just like Sleep but on quallades. Sleep had a record called Jerusalem that is one 58 minute stoner/doom jam that opens with line: "take me away bong in hand off and up to the riff filled land so you get some of kind of idea of doomy Om is...)

-Para One (More f*cking French electro, he is on Institubes 'the new Ed Banger Records')

*Part Chimp (Incredible London fat c*nts, like Shellac with a death wish. I have NO idea what they are doing on this bill as compared to every other act they are 'tiny'. Great, great band though.)

-RJD2 (I can feel Pooly's boner from here)

-SebAstian (Yes it is meant to have a big A. These Ed Banger guys always come to everything together. Pay for one get them all. That is why there are literraly 8 of them on the bill)

-Shy Child (Ex-Guapo/Supersystem, great synth punkfunk)

***Sick Of It All (This will make Jarv happy. NYHC legends, expect a circle pit, "go fast/no go slow". If I was there I would probably break my ankle again doing 'Potential For A Fall')

-Simian Mobile Disco (French Electro from London. Make sure you go see enough guitar bands or else all this electro is going to drive you nuts)

-Sizzla (Maybe he will crucify some gay men on stage? Or burn them. He is not allowed in the UK so make the most of seeing Dancehall's cheeky homophobic king in action)

-Skream (The only Dubstep thing there. Wobblewobble.)

-Stones Throw Night (again with Pooly's hip hop stiffie, Peanut Butter Wolf is one of the best ‘party’ DJ’s I have ever seen. He sh1ts on Diplo and his baillieghettofunk)

***Sunn O))) (I talk about these guys a lot. Just go. Trust me on this one. Life changing and beyond the realms of music)

-The Cinematic Orchestra (good afternoon stoned music, might send you to sleep late on)

-The Horrors (Hey look it's the facking Horrors, right bunch of rotters they are, right cheeky cants they are, gosh they might do something not arf naughty like throw an egg at the farkin crowd. Farkin 'ell mate. They all went to Rugby you know. Don't know where they get this idea that they are Dickensian guttersnipes from. Good tunes though)

-The Notwist (Highly recomended, fragile post rock, like how if Explosions In The Sky were still good and used sillier instruments)

-The Skatalites (Made the arguably the best Dub record ever. 'The Guns Of Navarrone'.)

-The Thermals (G'wood knows about these ones)

-Two Gallants (I'm unconvinced but Slammer and Barn swear by them)

-Uffie and Feadz (Yup, MORE froggie electro. Edbanger again, she is hot and apparently "ready to f*ck". He is her boyfriend though. Imagine watching your hot, scantily clad girlfriend get wasted and jump into crowds of guys while singing: "I-I-I-I-I'M READY TO F*CK" every night. Must be a tough life for old Feadz, I definitely feel for the guy)

-Venetian Snares (Insane Breakcore from a guy who's name in actual real life is Aaron Funk. This is what Jungle should have become instead of that excuse for mediocrity that D&B has sadly wobbled into)

***Vitalic (Go. Go. Go. Literally F*CK all that Edbanger electro. Compared to this that is good for nothing but The Old Blue Last on a Friday Hoxton Hipster bullsh1t background muzak. This is the real deal. I have heard this guys next LP and it sh1ts on pretty much everything since his last one. Grin inducing, hug everyone dance like you don't care perfect.)

-Wilco (Go see Jeff grow old gracefully. Not blown away by ‘Sky Blue Sky’ apart from Nels Cline's guitar stuff. I am having a revisionist Wilco period. Summerteeth rules! If Bill Fay turns up onstage like he did in London that will be worth going to Belgium for alone)

*Wiley (If he turns up to this I will eat a pair of my Y Fronts)

***Wolf Eyes (Much like Sunn or Lightning Bolt these guys are a band I talk about a lot. They pretty much deconstructed how I approached 'music'. What could be quantified as music, how it can be approached as a medium yadda yadda yadda. Whatever. Going and seeing these guys live is one of the most visceral experiences life can offer. I have gone well out of my way to see them over the years and own more of their music than any other artist whose name does not include the words 'Bob' and 'Dylan'. If you ignore everything else on this list please, please, please find out when Wolf Eyes are playing. Get totally f*cked. Push right to the front. And stay there for at least 15 minutes. Or whenever it gets loud. When it gets loud if you still feel nothing just go. If you don't get it under those circumstances there is no point prolonging the agony)

***Wu Tang Clan (If they do 'Da Mystery Of Chess Boxin' I will be sad I wasn't there)

Wow! That really is a great list of bands. I am super jealous and hope that you all have a super wicked awesome time.

I hope at least one thing on here is something you might not have gone to and you see it and enjoy it.

Be sure to make me a list when you get back of all the great bands you saw that I did not mention and go: "ha ha you pretentious, cocky, big-headed pr1ck, they were amazing and you've never even heard of them, in your face! They weren't even on your sh1tty little list, hahahahah".


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