What with this being The Brazilian Issue and all we decided to get a real life Brazilian lady to review the CD’s for us. Meet Andrea Villas. She used to live in Rio but left to study bio-mechanical engineering in Italy before following Pete Doherty to London because she “really, really wanted to be a groupie”. But don’t hold that against her. These days she mainly likes Of Montreal and electro-house. Interesting combo. Let’s see what she makes of this months pop parade. Valeu!
Vice: Apparently Leona used to be Ryan Adams’ girlfriend.
Andrea Villas: Oh really, I like his music. She sounds very new age though. Very zen. Not like Ryan Adams. I don’t like it.
Lot’s of people have a voice like this. It is just boring. I think she is probably into Kabbalah. Enough.
OK, you’re the boss.
If you met Sizzla in the street what do you think you would talk about?
Weed? I like smoking. This is good weed smoking music. I like it.
If you and Sizzla had a competition to see who could roll the best joint who would win?
Him. In fact maybe I’d have a chance, he looks like he’d just smoke a pipe. And maybe he would be already stoned. So, maybe me.
Is reggae popular in Brazil?
Yes, but the people who listen to it don’t have dreadlocks. People in Brazil are very clean. They would just think that if you had dreadlocks you were dirty.
Next up: Sonic Youth!
I love Sonic Youth!
Don’t you think they’re a little old to still be jamming out like they’re 16 these days?
I have never seen a photo of them.
You love then but you have no idea what they look like?
It is not important. I love that song of theirs “Superstar”.
This record has a song on it called “Anti Orgasm”. Do you think it will be as good as “Superstar”
I get obsessed by certain bands and this sounds amazing so maybe I will become obsessed by Sonic Youth again. I love it.
Church Of Misery
Houses Of The Unholy
Are you a big fan of Japanese doom-metal?
Not really. Most metal in Brazil just sounds like Sepultura and I never liked them. Did you know that Igor the drummer from Sepultura runs a very big clothing label in Brazil?
You learn a new thing everyday.
This just sounds like traffic to me. Traffic in a very busy city. Maybe New York. The guys in this band look like they are trying to be John Lennon and Paul McCartney all at once too. I don’t like it.
Sexbeat Vol 2
This one is a compilation of a bunch of lo-fi bands with names like Haunted Fucking and Winter Drones.
I like it very much. It is very psychedelic.
Psychedelic? Would you like to listen to this on mushrooms? It would bum me out I think.
I remember the first time I did mushrooms and listened to music. I thought that the woman who was singing was just screaming and she was singing just about Satanism and I felt like I was in the film Star Wars. It was by the Thames and it was scary. This music is nice though. It would be a good vibe.
British Sea Power
Man Of Aran
This is definitely creepy.
Yes this is scary, in a good way though. It sounds like a soundtrack.
Good spot, it is indeed a soundtrack that British Sea Power did for the classic 1934 film Man Of Aran. This band are very keen bird watchers.
Really? I like parakeets. Not parrots though. My uncle had one and it just imitated the neighbour who shouted at his dog. So with the nieghbour shouting about his dog and the parrot shouting about the nieghbour shouting about his dog it was very loud.
We Be Xuxa
Post Present Medium
Why does it say We Be Xuxa?
I don’t know why.
Xuxa was a children’s TV presenter. She was huge in Brazil. Everyone knows her.
Like Michela Strachan?
I don’t know her. She was as big as Cheryl Cole. An icon. Everyone loved her. She had an affair with Pele and that just made her more popular.
Do you think this album is about her?
I don’t think so. I like this though, it is like punk rock music. They sound very angry.
This guy makes all of his stuff by looping cassette tapes and changing the amplitude to make a wall of sound.
This is it?
For about half an hour per track yes.
Hmm, I could get into I think. I might jog to it.
Jog to it? It is just a half hour of tape looped drone!
Maybe do the cooking or cleaning then. I like it. It is like the beginning bit of Pink Floyd, Live at Pompeii. But going on forever.
Kissy Sell Out
I don’t think I can get past this guys haircut.
Oh, I have seen him lots of times. I like this very much. Two thumbs up.
Would you go on a date with Mr Sell Out?
Yes. I think he is handsome.
Wow. Where would you go?
To The Dorchester. And I would have a brie and proscuito sandwich. That is my favourite.
One Foot In The Rave
How would you dance to this?
This is proper rave music. I can imagine listening to this on a beach in Goa.
Do you think this would go down well in Brazil?
Maybe at a bailie funk yes. They are kind of set in their music there though. If you could get it on the soundsystem then they would probably dance to it all night all night, you’d just need to get this on there.
How do they all dance all night?
Do you mean drugs? You’d be surprised there is not that much cocaine or ecstasy there. There is more in London. Just lots of weed and Cachaca.
This one makes me ears hurt a bit.
I love it. I love electronic music like this. I have a special dance for music like this.
How does it go?
It is a bit like a robot dance but at the end I swing my hair around. I did it to my boss’s daughter the other day and now she always asks my boss if auntie Andrea can come around and do the funny dance.
Do you think that Kap would be into your dance?
The Graffiti Island 7”
This guy has a funny voice huh?
Yes, I like it though. It is interesting. I think this one is psychedelic too.
Really? I guess the lyrics are pretty weird.
It sounds very dusty.
Like, not very clear sounding.
I think that’s on purpose. They call it lo-fi.
Lee Harris Meets River Styx
Angel Headed Hip Hop
I think Lee Harris is a big deal on the UK counter-culture scene. Which means that unless you subscribe to High Times you may well not have heard of him.
I have not heard of him. I like this though it is very relaxing.
I can almost smell the patchouli oil and dream catchers.
Is he the old guy or the rapper.
I think Lee Harris is the old, sage–like Zebedee from the Magic Roundabout voice and River Styx is the rapper. I don’t think that River Styx is his real name.
Bone Of My Bones
The first track is called “W.A.R.R.I.O.R.”, who’s your favourite warrior of all time? Excluding Mel Gibson in Braveheart because that is the default answer to this question.
That is really weird I was going to say Braveheart and I don’t even really like him.
I don’t know why but everyone say that.
Can I choose Obelix?
He isn’t real but I guess he is better than Mel Gibson pretending to be Scottish.
God Help The Girl
Talking about Scots have you listened to much Belle & Sebastian?
Of course, this sounds quite like them but with a girl singing.
I think the idea was that Murdoch wanted to write the music and just have a load of different girls sing the tracks. Maybe he was after an advanced speed dating program like that movie Audition. But without the grizzly ending.
I have not seen that film. I quite like this but I prefer the full band I think. Next!
Man Like Me
Our Time Records
I love it!
Wow, that much?
Yes, it is really fun. I think I have heard this before actually.
I think “Oh My Gosh” has been around a while yep. It sure seems to have you dancing.
Yes it is one of my favourites so far. Two thumbs up. I think he would be what you call a ‘cheeky chappy’.
That description is probably used in every review of this guy ever and even when we get a Brazilian in he still gets lumped with it! Sorry Johnny.
Set ‘Em Wild, Set ‘Em Free
I always thought Akron/Family was a folk band but this sounds really clunky and all over the place.
It is good though, it sounds like a peacock pecking at the ground.
Do you think it sounds like any other bands as opposed to animals?
Maybe this is the first one that sounds like Of Montreal? Or maybe Animal Collective? 9.5 out of 10!
Lindstrom & Prins Thomas
This record actually has 99 tracks on it but they are all about 10 seconds long and it is split into 8 parts.
This is like that tape music we heard before. I would like to listen to this when I was cleaning. I have a lot of people staying at my house right now, a lot of family and it is very stressful but I could put this on and relax.
How do you decide who gets a bed when you have lots of family round?
It is my flat so I get a bed and my mum is a mother so she has priority too, after that it is chaos.
Where do you think these guys are from?
Perhaps from Serbia?
What makes you think that?
The instruments, they sound quite eastern.
Do you think that they sound anything like a grizzly bear?
No, but I love bears. They are great. I don’t like turtles though, have you seen them having sex? Watch it on YouTube, it’s disgusting.
This sounds a little like what the soundtrack would be to a death scene in Twin Peaks. How would you like to die?
I think I will get knocked over by a car because I am always walking across the street listening to music and almost getting hit.
But is that how you would like to go?
No, just how I probably will. Erm, maybe the lethal injection would be OK? Or in space. Yes in space, if you were there you would be there for a good reason.
Kid Congo & The Pink Monkey Birds
In The Red
As well as having the best name of all time this guy has played in The Gun Club, The Cramps and The Bad Seeds, pretty good going.
I really like this one. It’s one of the best so far. More thumbs up. It sounds really old but in a good way.
This track is called “I Found A Peanut”. Where is the best place you have ever found a peanut?
I don’t eat many peanuts but I eat cashew nuts. I found a cashew nut in my hair once after it had been stuck in my hairbrush.
The Heads/White Hills
Collisions Vol 1
This album just has two tracks. One from each band.
It sounds like Led Zeppelin but slower. I think it would be good music for a vampire film.
Have you ever seen a vampire?
No. But once my next-door neighbour had a party because her son got married and I looked down in the street where they were all having the party and they all looked like vampires. They all had white skin and red mouths.
Maybe they just like staying indoors and eating lots of raspberries?
No they looked really weird. I have a photo, I will show you.
This band are called Wooden Ships except they spell it Wooden Sjips. Do you fine English spelling strange?
Yes it is fairly difficult but I mainly just have to speak it. I had to learn English and Italian and Portuguese as well in Brazil.
I lived there and was studying and that was when I ran away to follow Pete Doherty.
What was it about Pete that made you run away from your studies?
I just loved the idea of being a groupie and I loved the music and it seemed like more fun than studying bio-mechanics.
Have you seen him lately?
No, I am going to see him with my mum in a few days, the showdown!
This one sounds like Sepultura too. His voice is very low. Like he has a sore throat.
When would you listen to this?
I don’t know. Maybe if I was really angry. Or trying to annoy someone.
Isis was an Egyptian deity, have you ever been to Egypt?
No but I would like to. The Nile and the pyramids. It is not at the top of the list but it would be nice. Not like this band, they do not sound nice. I do not like it at all.
Au Revoir Simone
Still Night, Still Light
Can you speak French as well?
Not really, I like French cheese though, especially Brie.
It’s OK, they don’t actually sing in French. They just have a silly name.
I might listen to this on my day off. I hate waking up, it is like being born, or ripped from the womb. On my day off I do not get up until midday. I could get up and listen to this. It would make me happy. I bet the girls aren’t as saintly as they sound though.
Why not? Their voices are super angelic,
You know nothing about girls. It is always the girls who look like goodie goodies who are total sluts.
So you think Au Revoir Simone are sluts?
I love the artwork!
It looks like it might give you an epileptic fit if you weren’t careful.
I like it. It is crazy!
This song is called “If Flash Gordon Was A Sk8r”. Who is your favourite superhero?
I don’t know. I don’t know too many superheroes. Maybe the singer in this band. I really, really like it.
How do you feel about hip-hop?
I know nothing about hip hop but this doesn’t sound much like hip-hop to me. It just sounds a bit depressing.
So you don’t like it?
No, I can’t stand depressing music. I liked Interpol and Radiohead but if I listen to anything like that for too long it makes me really down and I have to stop.
I wonder if Willie ISZ would be into being compared to Radiohead and Interpol?
Savath & Savalas
I thought this was going to be a hip-hop recod but it appears not.
I hope this has no female choruses.
What, like a Lauryn Hill bit?
Yes! I hate Lauren Hill. Why does everyone like her? She annoys me so much that I can’t talk about it. It is the kind of music guys would play when they are trying to sleep with you. It makes me run for the door or out of the window.
You have run out of a window?
Yes, it is easy, you just have to pretend you are going to the loo or going to the off license and then you just leave.