Tuesday, 13 October 2009

Vice Singles Reviews 18.09.09


0/10 I have no words. This singles’ teutonic, roadhouse backing band goes genderbending, beat-core tune is rendered all but invisible to the ear by the following lyrics:

Too big, too small,

Size does matter after all.

Zu groß, zu klein,

Er könnte etwas größer sein.

Mercedes-Benz und Autobahn,

Alleine in das Ausland fahren,

Reise, Reise, Fahrvergnügen

Ich will nur Spaß, mich nicht verlieben

Just a little bit...

Just a little bitch!

You've got a pussy,
I have a dick,

So what's the problem?

Let's do it quick.

So take me now before it's too late

Life's too short, so I can't wait.

Take me now, oh don't you see,

I can't get laid in Germany.

Too short, too tall,

Doesn't matter,
one size fits all.

Zu groß, zu klein,

Der Schlagbaum sollte oben sein.

Schönes Fräulein, Lust auf mehr?

Blitzkrieg mit dem Fleischgewehr!

Schnaps im Kopf, du holde Braut,

steck Bratwurst in dein Sauerkraut!

Just a little bit...

Be my little bitch!

Buch Dich

Wake UP
WM France

0 First signing to bloated celeb blood-sucking poison dwarf Perez Hilton’s new imprint in the US this androgynous Mika-meets-Lilly Allen-without-a-single-redeeming quality twiglet is possibly the worst thing to come out of my earphones this millennia. Fuck off back to France.

Len Hayton

VV Brown
Game Over

2 I thought VV was meant to be some 50’s revivalist soul crooner? Like a black Winehouse with hair volume focused at the forehead as opposed to crown. This sounds like incidental music from Finders Keepers being vocaled by a Destiny’s Child covers band.

Sasha Meek

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