Wednesday, 10 October 2007

I Am Scared Of Cotton Wool

This is a lttle thing I wrote on why I hate cotton wool for Vice magazine's Fear Issue.

I can’t handle cotton wool. Just thinking about it makes me think about the strands of a human brain unravelling like a damp flacid, dripping, grey cheese string. It’s something to do with the weird stringy, fibrous nature of the stuff. If you squeeze it you can feel all the tiny fibres screeching and rubbing together like a massive wiry car crash inside a cloud. It’s like being on acid when you aren’t on acid and having a hightened sense of touch and feel . It is also often used as a bedding material by weird people who collect dead baby sparrow foetus’s in safety match boxes and that is also pretty scary. I am also terrified of ear buds because that is basically like stuffing a compact globule of cotton wool down a hole in your body. No thanks. I would prefer to build up a nice collection of yellow gunk in my ears that the GP can then syringe out and show me in a Perspex cup.

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